You need help!
But don't worry! Help is certainly at hand. After reading this page you'll be able to use the apostrophe just like any grammar veteran (or indeed, novice).
Stuff a creature or thing has!
- Emma's tool.
- The vicar's jizz.
- The dildo's vibe.
Holy cow brains! Letters are missing!
- You're right!
- I'm hungry.
- Fish 'n' chips.
"Thanks, I'm overwhelmed by it's simplicity."
Whoa there! What the fuck do you think you're doing? Pronouns like its, his and her don't get a visit from Mr. Apostrophe. In fact if I see you do that again you're going to have a slap. It's = IT IS.
"Wow, sorry... Somebody need's to chill!"
Somebody needs to LEARN. Mr. Apostrophe hardly ever gets out of bed for less than a possession or contraction. Certainly not for plurals or verbs ending in 's'.
- What are you doing? Put those knive's away! WRONG
- Argh, my face! It hurt's! WRONG
- My guts are everywhere... CORRECT!
"Christ on a bike, you're crazy, call me an ambulance!"
Now you're probably getting the hang of it. It's fairly easy when you think about it. In case senseless violence didn't do the trick, here follow links to other apostrophe related goodies:
Now get yourself to a hospital and show the apostrophe a little more respect from now on, or he'll probably pay you another educational visit.